SUNSHINE SUPERWOMAN
Wendy Fitzwilliam on parenthood, health, fashion,and enterprise; the finesse of doing it all, and loving it all...

(Motherhood, and new allergies)

“I’m allergic to shell fish,” she explains, as a cheery More Vino waitress brings a serving of complimentary California Rolls to our outdoor table. Though Wendy Fitzwilliam is not a sushi fan, considers wasabi to be “gross” and thinks that there are much better ways to clear one’s taste buds, it’s obvious that she is used to this type of reception in her home country. Amidst the jesting she mentions, “I love crab, but I never could eat it, it’s very dangerous. I’d have to get shots to get the swelling down.”

She stops to chat with at least six people before we can resume. A former classmate of hers approached our table only to regale us with an anecdote of Wendy being her prefect in high school, “I was so in love at sixteen that I wore a ring on my married finger to indicate that (in my heart) I was engaged. But Wendy was my prefect and though I begged and pleaded my love for my then beau, she confiscated my ring! I’ve never seen it again till this day!” Though Wendy does not recall what happened to the ring, she is a self-professed nerd, but more of that later… For now she’s talking about the birth of her son, Ailan, and how she’s since developed a new allergic reaction to almonds.

“I wore this amazing almond cream for the entire eight months - he was born after eight months. I slathered myself from headto- toe every day; it was the most divine smelling thing. He was born on a Friday afternoon at 3:25 and at about 7 pm I went to have a bath. I slathered myself as usual and immediately started itching all over. By Sunday evening I broke out. Bumps everywhere. Thank God I was still in the hospital. I had never had a nut allergy before. That’s what happens when you give birth, your body changes in little ways.”

(The balancing act)

Letters to Ailan is all about Fitzwilliam’s experience of becoming a single mother, documented from Ailan’s conception to last Christmas (2008), and told as a series of letters to her son. Becoming a single mom proved a very controversial decision, “Wendy goes from ‘Wendy solo’ to ‘Wendy kid!’ It must have been shocking for everyone!” she propounded.

Why did she write the book? “Because my manager suggested it, quite frankly. He was the third person I told back in 2005, and he was elated. He said, ‘You have to write your journey; this would be your first book, Letters to Ailan.’ He actually named the book. And because it’s a series of letters to my son I can address things sensitively, intelligently and hopefully not offensively. I’ve addressed a lot of things that are taboo in many of the cultures here. I was born Catholic, very Catholic, and I love my faith. But there are certain things about my faith and other faiths that I find unhealthy. Christianity generally has a very unhealthy relationship with sexuality and therefore does not address it. When you don’t address something, and don’t educate yourself about it, you drive it underground and as a result ‘ugly’ festers where the need for ‘ugly’ does not exist. But I want my son to be the next wave of super-Catholic.” I surmised that this hope for metamorphosis was also the reason she chose a girl’s Catholic school to break the news about her pregnancy.

She’s armed to conquer the simultaneous roles of ‘mother’, ‘friend’, ‘disciplinarian,’ and open these very lines of communication with her son, “For me where I am in my life, I’m not worried about Ailan’s education or material comfort. He can attend any University in the world and if he chooses not to and starts his own business he will still get that support. Where I find we as West Indians lack most is in the personal - in the way we relate to our children. There’s that huge gap between parent and child where the child is not comfortable discussing life’s intimacies with the parent, or the complete opposite where the parent does not draw the line and becomes a friend as opposed to the parent. It’s a very delicate balancing act, and I am determined to get this one right.”

Nonetheless, in our conservative society, many aren’t particularly thrilled (to be mild) by Wendy’s decision to be a single mom. In fact, her younger sister was aghast by the very thought, “She does not think it’s best for the big sister that she worships.” But Wendy confesses that she was not nervous at all, “I’m very comfortable with my life now. I do want a traditional family structure but I’m not going to give up my other dreams to facilitate that. And that is not as easy as getting an A (in school). I love the institution of marriage, the sanctity of it. My parents got divorced and that was difficult; I’m not doing that again.”

(Mr. Nut King, and a new stash of vegetables)

Regardless, conceiving Ailan has impelled her to make pervasive changes, one of these being in the nutrition department. “When the doctors told me I was carrying Ailan I lived on a diet of carbohydrates. A meal for me was macaroni pie, rice and potato salad. And we West Indians do not count anything liquid as calories so I was covering everything in some kind of sauce.

And I loved to snack. My employees know that I always had a ‘goodie draw’ in my office – so they loved to come to my office for meetings – because kurma and cookies would be passing around.

My whole diet changed the second I found out I was carrying Ailan. I stopped throwing away my vegetables. In fact, I eat a lot more of them (I actually stopped picking the bhaji out of bhaji rice) and tons of fruit and salad.

Mr. Nut King Corn Curls habit. I would stop at the gas station, opposite Maritime plaza, in Barataria, every other day, literally, and buy eight to twelve packs of Mr. Nut King each time. This went on for almost a year. I checked myself when I was almost screaming at a gas station attendant, ‘What is wrong with your ordering process here, you know I come every two days and you don’t have any!’ Then I thought I was losing it. I said to myself ‘Wendy, you need to wean yourself off the corn curls.’”

Ailan does not know that Mr. Nut King exists, “I hide them from him in the little toolbox compartment in the car – he does not go there. But I’ve been off it for some weeks now, I don’t even go to that gas station anymore!” For a second I wondered if I was truly convinced that she’d given up Mr. Nut King. “It’s been two weeks since I’ve had one,” she earnestly replied. I conceded to believe her, somewhat.

(Fashionista in NYC)

Of the pageant she quipped, “I was a very mature Universe compared to most. I was twenty-five, ancient, like the granny of Miss Universe. I visited my sister in New York, for a few days, before I left for Hawaii (where the pageant was held). We partied all night long the night before so I was very tired when I arrived on the flight. The other girls were dressed beautifully and fully made-up – they were competing from since then! My face was bare, and I only dabbed a little lipstick and mascara. As soon as the plane door opened in Hawaii there was CNN waiting to interview me…and I was wondering why they were paying so much attention to me when there were all those fabulous girls around. But the Internet was just blowing up then so there was talk and even bets on before I even got to Hawaii that I would make top ten.”

Since being crowned she has been quite the fashionista in Trinidad and Tobago and abroad, “Trinidadians across the world were very excited about my win. Rick Davies – a well-regarded ‘trini’ stylist in New York, who totally flies below the radar - called Miss Universe and offered to style me. He met me on my first trip to New York three months after I won, and we hit it off completely. He was like a real ‘trini’ boy from San Juan. Whenever he styled me he pulled the most amazing clothes. I wore the best of the best – some of the less known but more exclusive and very high-end designers.”

One of those designers was Zang Toi - a young, Malaysian designer, whose clientele includes Sharon Stone, Ivana Trump and Meg Ryan, “Zang, like Rick and I, hit it off. He’s an island boy like me, and from the tropics as well, but from the opposite side of the planet. And he has a beautiful studio in midtown, on 57th street between 5th and 6th Avenue, so it’s perfectly located – right across the street are the infamous Brazilian sisters who can wax anything, and the Christian Dior store. The location is nice. I hanged out with him a lot; he dressed me in the most feminine and glamorous pieces, and we became good friends.

I also modeled at a couple of his runway shows. He used my body to cut his patterns, so that’s why all his samples fit me perfectly (smiles).”

One look she recalls is the jewell ed high-neck gown and Celine jewels that she wore a few years back at the Whitney Museum Gala. And Zang, of course, was the designer, and the chosen designer for this issue’s cover shoot.

(Full Circle)

Wendy does carry an air of responsibility - after all, she is the Vice President of Business Development at the Evolving TecKnologies and Enterprise Development Company Limited, and a mother – but she does so enthusiastically, playfully. She speaks with genuine interest and passion about every sphere of her life, lending the impression that work is all play and play is all work.

More enticing is her unique manner in transcending the cosmetic world of beauty and fashion and the harshness of the corporate woman in a natural and refreshing way, that’s just all her. Since her win in 1998 she has made significant strides as the Red Cross ambassador for children afflicted with HIV/ Aids, and her compassion extends to the Cyril Ross home for children. But when, in mid conversation she excitedly pulls out her little book of quotations, hidden in her brief bag, talking about transcendence, forgiveness and the like, it becomes obvious that this woman would continue to shine and constantly surprise us all.

- Aliyyah Eniath