Hello and welcome to VENT ! Belle’s take on giving you - its readers - the opportunity to voice your opinions, submit your critiques and ultimately get those niggling complaints ‘off your chest.’ For each issue, we invite you to write in or email your ‘what ticks me off’ experience. And together with a team of specialists in various disciplines, we’ll do our best to address what’s bothering you.

As for this issue, let me begin with a proper introduction. My name is Salisha Baboolal and I am a specialist in corporate communications. My area of expertise is in corporate image and communications management. (Try saying that fast 10 times)!

Apart from the customary degrees and accreditation, (a Master’s degree in Mass Communications and two postgraduates, one in Image & Communications Management and the other in Corporate Communications) I gained most of my work experience from living abroad for the last 12 years. . . . okay, enough about me. This column is all about you – our valued readers. It’s time to get your ‘two cents’ in.

HEY BELLE:

Why is it that good service is so hard to find in this country? I went for lunch the other day at a popular restaurant. I should’ve known from the time I walked into the room and there was no-one there to greet me (even though the sign at the front said, ‘please wait to be seated’). So there I was, waiting for a good ten minutes. Then there was the menu. They were out of everything I wanted. There wasn’t enough cutlery and when I asked the waiter for more, he said to hold on because they were being cleaned. I mean this was lunch time and they weren’t prepared! Why do we put up with this?

Bad Eats – Trinidad

Hi Bad Eats:

Customer service is indeed a critical element of every business that is grossly overlooked in some places. But I want to assure you that it’s not a Trinidadian phenomena – poor service occurs all over the world. Did you complain to the manager? Or did you eat and then ‘fume’ all the way back home? What many of us don’t realize is that by staying silent and not complaining in the right way and to the appropriate people, only condones the bad service. The next time this happens, go to the manager or even the owner and let them know. Be mindful of stating your case in a calm tone and in a rational manner.

I know for a fact that the better restaurants in our lovely islands have already begun to enhance their customers’ experience by introducing feedback cards, investing in customer care training and other measures. Remember, you shouldn’t have to put up with poor service.

HELLO BELLE:

I am Trinidadian, my husband is British. We’ve lived abroad for 17 years and just moved back to Trinidad. I didn’t want to but my husband got a great job here. My big beef is this. Why is it so diffi cult for men to take instructions from a woman? I am in the professional development fi eld. And I’ve realized that even if she’s more than qualifi ed and capable, some men are so intimidated by a candid, assertive woman that they stoop to all kinds of levels to make her life hell. Maybe that’s just my experience. But it is wrong and I am angry at this primitive way of thinking that I have to be subjected to.

LL – Sumadh Gardens

Hello Sumadh Gardens:

First, let me ask, do you think that your not wanting to move to Trinidad may have exacerbated your reaction to the people you work with? Don’t misunderstand me; I am not trying to trivialize how you feel. There is legitimacy in your observation that some men are intimidated by a strong woman. However, the variations on this theme are also true: some women can be likewise intimidated and some men can be supportive. The point I’m making is that there are no absolutes.

My advice would be to let go of the anger. Instead, focus on your workand on your capabilities. Professional development is an extremely rewarding field. Remind yourself of why you entered it, in the first place. Chances are you can draw the strength you need from there.lf there are people who can't or won't grasp the benefit of what you're trying to achieve, then the issue is with them; they're not mentally ready to grow or to develop.

Why not channel your energy into something more rewarding than being frustrated? You could join the myriad of associations and organizations that work to promote women in business. If there aren't any that appeal to you, then start one that does!

If it's one thing that I've realized, (having also recently moved toTrinidad) it's that this country is primed for business growth. Use that to your advantage! And if that's not taking assertiveness into a whole new stratum, I don't know what is!

HELLO BELLE:

I have a teenage son. My ex still has an active role in my son's life even though we've been legally separated for over a decade. When my ex drinks, he verbally abuses me in front of my son. When he becomes sober, I tell him that that is not the way to act in front of our child. But I am fed-up with his behaviour. Why doesn't he see that verbal abuse is just as bad as the physical kind?

VA - Jamaica

Hello Jamaica:

It's challenging enough to describe a situation like this, let alone publicize it. I want to commend you for your courage. Verbal abuse is indeed just as bad, if not worse than physical abuse.As any domestic counselor will tell you,verbal abuse is often worse because,you can't readily see the damage it wreaks and its scars take much longer to heal than those of physical abuse.

You've made a brave stance in stating that you've reached your'end point.'Thatls the point we need to reach in order for us to really activate change in our lives. Good for you!

First, know the guidelines that govern your life. What things are acceptable to you and what you won't tolerate. Then,speakto your ex when he is sober.Suggest that,while you are no longer married,your son wants him to be a part of his life. If he also wants this, he has to practice healthy parenting. Suggest that he goes to family counseling or a behavioural specialist or even parenting workshops. If this doesn't work, then speak to a counselor of your own and a lawyer to know what yours and his rights are.These first steps should point you in the right direction.

Good luck!

BELLE invites you to voice your opinions, submit your critiques and untimately get those niggling complaints off your chest.
Email us at salisha@safaripublications.com