A newborn is a source of joy for most mothers but for some second-time moms the introduction of a new baby to the family can be a very confusing and challenging time for the first born child. So how do you give your toddler all the TLC he or she needs while properly caring for your newborn?

For starters, as soon as you discover you are pregnant or soon after, it may be best to tell your little one. The Australian Breastfeeding Association advises that toddlers are perceptive and will know that something is going on. However, "There's a baby inside Mummy's tummy" may be a bit of an abstract concept for a toddler. Looking at books or pictures of pregnant women and talking about the lady in the picture and how her tummy is nice and round because she has a baby inside it is a good way to suggest to your child that the same thing will soon happen to you. Be prepared for a lack of interest or blank stares, but keep repeating it regularly, the Association suggests. It may work for you to wait until later—perhaps when your belly is obvious. Seven or eight months can be a very long time for little children. Only you can decide which is better for your child—after all, you know him best.

Kellymom.com, a website devoted to breastfeeding and parenting suggests talking to your child about what babies like, that they mainly nurse and sleep and cry, how they need to be held much of the time and telling stories about what your older child was like as a newborn and how you took care of him/her.

Kellymom also recommends creating opportunities for your children to see young babies and nursing babies. If you don't know any new moms you can get books to show your toddler pictures of newborn and nursing babies. If your child was weaned or was never breastfed: Explain that mom makes milk for baby, that nursing is how baby eats, and that nursing also helps baby feel better when he's sad or scared or feeling bad.When your baby arrives there may be a bit of jealousy on the part of your first born because of the amount of attention he or she feels that you are giving to the new arrival. Your toddler may be angry at your disrupting the predictable flow of his life with this new baby who demands all your attention. "Think about it," says Elizabeth Pantley, author of Perfect Parenting and Kid Cooperation. "Before the baby entered your family, your toddler was told he'd have a wonderful little brother to play with, and how much fun it would be. Then the little brother is born and your toddler is thinking, "Are you kidding me? This squirming, red-faced baby that takes up all your time and attention is supposed to be FUN?" He then "plays" with the baby in the only ways he knows how. He plays catch. You yell at him for throwing toys at the baby. He plays hide-and-seek. You screech that he's trying to suffocate the baby with the blanket. He gives the kid a hug, and you explode in fury. No wonder he's confused," she says.

Vonetta Lawrence, mother of a two year old and an eight month old suggests making a concerted effort to shower your first born with affection as much as possible to combat this jealousy often displayed by firstborns. This is extremely important she says because, "There are often misplaced emotions when the older sibling doesn't understand why the attention is being shared. It's a new situation for them and they are unable to express their feelings at such a young age."

However, "Predictable, protected one on one time with my older child helps," says Lawrence. "It makes her know that we have a special bond that has not changed because of the baby."

Elizabeth Pantley also offers the following tips on how to successfully cope with caring for a newborn and an infant:

Teach:Your first goal is to protect the baby. Your second, to teach your older child how to interact with his new sibling in proper ways. You can teach your toddler how to play with the baby in the same way you teach him anything else. Talk to him, demonstrate, guide and encourage. Until you feel confident that you've achieved your second goal, however, do not leave the children alone together. It isn't convenient. But it is necessary, maybe even critical.

Hover: Whenever the children are together, "hover" close by. If you see your child about to get rough, pick up the baby and distract the older sibling with a song, a toy, an activity or a snack. This action protects the baby while helping you avoid a constant string of "No's," which may actually encourage the aggressive behavior.

Teach soft touches: Teach the older sibling how to give the baby a back rub. Tell how this kind of touching calms the baby, and praise the older child for a job well done. This lesson teaches the child how to be physical with the baby in a positive way.

Act quickly: Every time you see your child hit, or act roughly with the baby, act quickly. You might firmly announce, "No hitting, time out." Place the child in a time-out chair with the statement, "You can get up when you can use your hands in the right way." Allow him to get right up if he wants - as long as he is careful and gentle with the baby. This isn't punishment, after all. It's just helping him learn that rough actions aren't going to be permitted.

Demonstrate: Children learn what they live. Your older child will be watching as you handle the baby and learning from your actions. You are your child's most important teacher. You are demonstrating in everything you do, and your child will learn most from watching you.

Praise: Whenever you see the older child touching the baby gently, make a positive comment. about the important "older brother/sister." Hug and kiss your older child and tell him how proud you are of him.

Watch your words: Don't blame everything on the baby. "We can't go to the park; the baby's sleeping." "Be quiet, you'll wake the baby." "After I change the baby I'll help you." At this point, your child would just as soon sell the baby! Instead, use alternate excuses. "My hands are busy now." "We'll go after lunch." "I'll help you in three minutes."

Be supportive: Acknowledge your child's unspoken feelings, such as "Things sure have changed with the new baby here. It's going to take us all some time to get used to this." Keep your comments mild and general. Don't say, "I bet you hate the new baby." Instead, say, "It must be hard to have Mommy spending so much time with the baby." or "I bet you wish we could go to the park now, and not have to wait for the baby to wake up." When your child knows that you understand her feelings, she'll have less need to act up to get your attention.

Give extra love: Increase your demonstrations of love for your child. Say extra "I love you's", increase your daily dose of hugs, and find time to read a book or play a game. Temporary regressions or behavior problems are normal, and can be eased with an extra dose of love and attention.

Get them involved: Teach the older sibling how to be helpful with the baby or how to entertain the baby. Let the older sibling open the baby gifts and use the camera to take pictures of the baby. Teach him how to put the baby's socks on. Let him sprinkle the powder. Praise and encourage whenever possible.

Make each feel special: Avoid comparing siblings, even about seemingly innocent topics such as birth weight, when each first crawled or walked, or who had more hair! Children can interpret these comments as criticisms.

Take a deep breath and be calm: This is a time of adjustment for everyone in the family. Reduce outside activities, relax your housekeeping standards, and focus on your current priorit— adjusting to your new family size.