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 Hey Belle:
Quite a few years ago in Trinidad, I took a ‘gold digger’ out
on a lunch date—what she wanted with me I don’t know.
Anyway, I only realized this midway
through lunch, had it confi rmed at the
end of lunch, and reconfi rmed during
the after lunch coffee ritual (I kept my
bets ‘till the very end).
So to compensate for feeling utterly
used and annoyed I made her pay half
the bill—just because I knew it would
hit her for six. It did. The expression
on her face when she reached for her
purse was priceless. I think that was a
nightmare date for the both of us.
Eric, Wales, U.K.
Attaboy! If she were blatantly using me, she would not have
only paid her way, but would’ve gotten an earful to boot.
From the outpouring of e-mails, two themes were prominent:
1) both men and women had their fair share of dating
horror stories and 2) dating had evolved into a high tech art
form.
Hi Belle:
A few years ago, I was dating this ‘wonderful’ guy. You know
the type, Mr. Sensitive. Anyway, it was New Year’s Eve and
we went to Hilton for the annual poolside bash. Soon after
the dinner, my Mr. Nice Guy excused himself to take a call.
After waiting for 10 minutes, I went looking for him. I found
him arguing with some other woman. Apparently, not only
was he two-timing me, but he had invited this woman for the
‘dance’ part of the fete and she came early. What the hell
did he plan to do with me? Just feed me and then switch
partners? I was so angry and embarrassed!
Desiree – Maracas, Trinidad
Desiree, dating fi ascoes like these are more common than
you know. But there’s also another trend that’s popping up.
With the proliferation of on-line dating sites like E-harmony,
Match.com, and Lavalife and communal
friend sharing sites like Facebook and Hi5, meeting someone today
leaves so much room for Murphy’s Law to play out.
Hi Belle:
After 8 years of living with my partner
we parted. It was traumatic but after 9
months or so I felt ready to dip my toe
back into the dating waters. After several
disastrous dates, where making
an escape out of the restroom window
often seemed like a really good option,
a friend suggested a dating website.
Great I thought, a way to really communicate with someone
before I decided to meet up with them and check out the
photo (although it’s the personality that counts of course).
So I entered the world of on-line dating and began emailing
and meeting up with men. There I discovered that a) Photoshop
should be made illegal and b) people can sound really
fascinating when they’ve had hours to work on it.
Femme Fatale – London, U.K.
Ah yes, the art of fi ne-tuning. A real must-have in today’s
on-line dating platforms. Such is the price we pay for perfection.
As it stands, there are pros and cons for either side.
Maybe you lessen the number of hours by letting your
fi ngers do the walking instead of getting dressed, going out,
spending an hour or more with someone who ends up being a Mr. or Mrs. Wrong. Or maybe you fall ‘hook, line
and sinker’ for someone’s sensual one-liners, only to realize
(in true Cyrano de Bergerac styling)
that their best friend’s sister has been
the one coaching your on-line amor in
what to say . . . ahem . . .type.
Dating - in Trinidad or in other parts
of the world – has not relinquished
its traditional form but has simultaneously
crossed over into cyberspace.
So many people use this medium
to ‘test the waters’ before actually
meeting face to face. The anonymity
of it all! It’s like having your own
private screening room. But for many
people, this trend still leaves much to
be desired.
Hey Belle:
. . . I’ve been on E-harmony for eight months now. At fi rst
I was getting nothing. I’d actually cancelled my membership
but in a moment of weakness, I signed up two months
later. Needless to say, my inbox has been full since then.
It’s exciting to know that ‘you’ve made a match.’ But for me,
while the women may be compatible, there is no chemistry.
Where are all the ‘lookers?’ On real dates, damn it! That’s
where!
George—Toronto
Yes George, real-time interaction with another
human being is always a good thing.
But what about if the ‘pickings are slim’ even
in the traditional dating arena?
Hey Belle:
Dating in our society? I’ve heard many complain
about a date going sour after hours of
great conversation—and it happens when
one person fi nds out that the other went
out or was involved with a mutually known
person. . . or sometimes persons. People
need to realise that Trinidad is small, and so
is the dating pool.
Lina—San Fernando, Trinidad
Lina, maybe the dating pool is shrinking.
Perhaps that’s the reason for so much dating
drama these days.
Many of you suggested that your worst bet
to meet someone is on business...
Dear Belle:
I was en route to a business conference in St. Lucia. After
the two-day event, I was sitting at the
pool and was shocked by the audacity
of this man who said, “I’ll pay any
price for some time with you, princess.”
Aidan—Antigua
And then, even those of you who
ventured the conventional route of
bar-hopping had some ‘zingers’ to tell.
Hi Belle:
I was in this club having a good time,
when I shared a wine with this hot
man. One thing led to another and
we exchanged digits. Let me just say, beware of meeting a
person in a dark club. He didn’t quite have the same visage
in the morning light. My advice: one night at Zen, does not a
long-term relationship make!
Tamara—Fairways, Trinidad
Wow! The ways of dating may have changed, but their ensuing
disasters still remain the same. What a mission to just
meet, mix, and play. . . all I have to say is thank goodness I
got out of that game!
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