Yogita and Ramiz’s
Sacred Vows

The Proposal

Yogita and Ramiz both worked at BPTT, Trinidad and Tobago, both having similar academic backgrounds in Geology and Petroleum Science, and soon an inevitable office romance ensued.

Yogita says, “I would see him around the office and think what a nice boy – but didn’t think anything much of it. Then for Christmas he asked me out to experience Parang in Paramin (I’d never been before). That was our first date, which actually didn’t happen as planned, as it rained out – so we stayed in at a friend’s house instead.”

She admits, “I can be a lot more direct than Ramiz, so after we’d been going out a while, and nothing had yet been said, I decided one night, after dinner, to prod him. I asked, “So do you like me?” He smiled and said, I really like you.

One and a half years later, Ramiz proposed to Yogita at Rasam in Grand Bazaar; it was a birthday gift to himself.

The Ring

The ring is from Salvatore & Co. from New York City’s world-renowned Diamond District. It’s a designer piece called Hearts on Fire, coined as one of the world’s best-cut diamonds, crafted for precision and brilliance. The couple actually chose the ring together (the proposal was done sans ring). The jeweller advised them, “The first ring you see, that you like, is the one you’re going to buy.” And so said, so done. After perusing the whole Diamond District the couple returned to that very first ring.

“Putting Away” the Bride

The bride wore two outfits, the traditional red sari, and yellow sari, purchased at Arman’s Bridal Fashions in Jackson Heights, New York.

Yogita says, “There was all this jewellery, and my skirt alone was twenty-five pounds; my veil was five pounds in itself. So you have to get someone to put it all together.” Michael Salickram, cofounder and art director of Shiv Shakti dance group, helped her to do just that; he put the bride away as they say.

The Wedding

Yogita comes from a very traditional Hindu family, hence culture and rituals are very important to her. “I wanted that…the actual ceremony…to be the focus of the day. I really wanted people to witness our wedding.”

The couple loved the style and flair of western weddings and sought to marry that with tradition. Hence, the marriage rituals were witnessed by guests in a banquet setting, with a reception immediately following.

Yogita says, “I did not have a home wedding in the traditional way – I had it at the hall. When you’re (a Hindu woman) getting married you can’t leave the house the day before, so I could not go to the hall to see the decorations; I just had to remind myself to breathe.”

Yogita has been dancing Indian classical dance, one of her greatest passions, for the past twenty-five years. She quips that Ramiz does not enjoy Indian dance and movies as much as she does; his passion is football.

Thus there was also a merging of personalities at their wedding, reflected in their unique place cards, where those for the “girl’s side” were named after Indian dancers, whilst those for the “boy’s side” were named after football stadia, such as Old Trafford.

The red and gold colour scheme of the jewelled invitations, the first glimpse into the event, was translated throughout the wedding. A jewelled Indian woman appears on both the invitations for Yogita’s guests as well as the place cards, whilst the counterpart male appears for Ramiz’s guests.

Tradition

The bride walked into the mandap with rice in her hands. Rice in general, in the Hindu tradition, symbolizes prosperity and good fortune. Hence rice is also traditionally showered upon the bride in a celebratory manner.

Ramiz was greeted by Yogita’s mom as he entered the wedding venue; in fact, he’s not allowed to enter until he’s greeted by her. Yogita’s brother then washed his feet and ensured that he was comfortable. Traditionally, when a guest comes to your home you honour them by washing their feet.

Ramiz then came out to the marriage area, or mandap, where Yogita’s father greeted him; afterwards the bride entered the wedding hall, to the tune of the Indian song, Tujh Mein Rab Dikhta Hai (I see God in You), accompanied by close family members. The song is special to the bride and groom (it’s the song from the first Indian movie they saw together), who in that moment, saw each other for the first time that day, and sat opposite each other.

The bride’s parents actively participate in a solemn giving away – the mother places her hand under the bride’s, whilst the father places his under the groom’s; the groom’s other hand is then placed beneath.

The Vows

The wedding vows, or Saptapadi, is thought to be the bringing together of two compatible souls. It involves seven mounds of rice, symbolizing seven steps together, or a journey. The first three mounds symbolize the part of the journey where the bride walks alone; from the fourth mound onward, the couple join hands and walk the rest of the way together. Yogita says, “For me, those vows were transcendental; the actual moment of joining together.”

When ancestors brought tradition – they also brought vows. One such vow, for the bride, was to be punctual in domestic duties, in order to avoid discomfort to her husband. This flummoxed Yogita, who had not heard about this particular vow until the wedding day, and who made it clear to the Pundit that she could not agree to it.

She says, “ The Pundit did not know what to say to me at that point, so eventually I agreed to share domestic duties with my husband, and he happily agreed – he was relieved that I agreed to something.”

Memorable Moments

Sometimes, the most memorable moments are unplanned - often being the things that went wrong. Yogita recalls: “It was raining really heavily on the day, just as the barath (the groom and guests) were making their way to the venue, and a tree fell across the road. They were all stuck there, waiting for someone to clear the road.

This happened close to where they were building a smelter; there was an alternative, forested road and the guard agreed to let only two cars go through. But Ramiz’s parents were left behind, and the wedding could not start without them; we waited two hours for all our guests to arrive.”

The Days Before

The engagement: In Gujarati tradition, the bride’s family sends gifts and sweets for the groom as well as his family. In this case, the bride’s brother was dispatched with gifts, including fruits, and money, to be presented to the groom. In return, the groom sends the ring.

Mehindi Night: This event was held a few days following the engagement. The bride invited only family and close friends - the people she wanted to feel very connected with. Celebrated Mehindi artist, Varsha Roodal, was at hand to provide intricate designs for guests. The bride’s sister and cousins organized dance rehearsals for this night, as a group among them were actually practicing to perform at the wedding.

Matikur Night: This night follows the Mehindi night. Some friends from Yogita’s dance class performed a dance medley, and Yogita recalls that the aftermath was like a scene from an Indian movie, where everyone just came out in impromptu song and dance – that strangely enough, seemed choreographed.

Laawa night: To celebrate, women and men gather to cook dinner for this night and prepare for the following day. Apart from food preparation, one of the main rituals is the “parching of the laawa.” Laawa (rice paddy), is heated on a flame – the same happens at the groom’s house - and there is a little competition to see who parches the first or most – the saying goes that if the groom’s parches first the bride’s won’t parch, and vice versa.

The Honeymoon

The couple honeymooned in Hawaii. They flew from Oahu (the most populous island in Hawaii) to Big Island, then to laid-back Maui, with its beautiful coastlines, in particular, Hana highway, that runs for about fifty miles, featuring beautiful bridges and six hundred hairpin bends.

Oahu is known for its cultural and artistic centers and lively nightlife, and is home to historic Pearl Harbor (the site of the Japanese surprise attack on the US Pacific Fleet on December 7, 1941, which brought America into the Second World War) and some of the best golf courses on the island.

The couple visited the Pearl Harbor memorial, which they describe as a peaceful and surreal experience. Big Island or Hawaii Island is a volcanic island - entirely formed by volcanic activity and is the home of one of the world’s most active volcanoes (Kilauea) and the tallest sea mountain in the world at more than 33,000 feet.

Recommended Vendors

Photographer: Gary Jordan, www.garyjordan.com
Photographer: Laroy Green, www.laroygreen.com
Mehendi Artist: Mrs. Sadaf, (868) 741-0035
Mehindi Artist: Varsha Roodal, (868) 736-0161
Bridal Consultant: Michael Salickram, (868) 749-9493
Caterer: M&M Catering Service, (868) 785-0335
Bridal Clothing and Accessories: Armaan's Bridal Fashions, www.armaansbridal.com
Spa: Mille Fleur Day Spa (868) 645-5279
Religious Ceremony Items: Satya Bhavan Puja Store: (868) 671-0191
Cake: Peche Pattisserie, (868) 689-6350